The way we were...

Generations of Vietnamese have observed this dating ritual, the young lovers fine art of utmost interest in going nowhere, as to a degree, they are already exactly where they want to be.

Couched in the arms of a darling, dressed suitably to the nines for the occasion, youngsters putter along the streets, sneaking the kinds of sensual embraces frowned upon at home with the olds.

But where do they come from, and more to the point for quizzical western observers, where exactly do they think they are going?

As the bikes dance through the traffic, lovers nestled cheek to cheek; one thinks of the trusty station wagon and the merits of make spots littered around the world. Yet, while park ups are a part of the play, the quintessence of di choi (simply go out, although not that simple really) lies in its mobility.

Hanoi’s lakes, traditionally Ho Tay, draw thronging masses in an orgy of nonchalant sensuality. Take a spin up the Ho Tay Water Park access road on any given evening and you’re assured of coping a real eyeful.

But hey, as a young man, I am not immune to its charm. I’ve been known to cruise along too, a young lady sitting side-saddle behind me, locked in an embrace that I don’t feel inclined to relinquish to the table and chairs of a café.

Phuong, 29, is a media professional in Hanoi. She openly admits to still loving a good di choi with her husband, although their carefree bike rides have become less frequent since the arrival of their first child. But every once and a while, they leave the baby with their live in mother in law, and hit the pavement nowhere-bound.

“It’s not hard to get privacy at home, but it’s important to get out of the house. Every couple has their ‘spot’, mostly around Ho Tay or on the Red River,” she says with a knowing glint in her eye. “You want a place with a good view and fresh cool air from the lake.”

“You can drive around, park for a while, or stop and get some ice cream. But we don’t hang out in cafes for long. It’s our time to relax together.” Phuong added.

So there you have it. It’s about not heading to any particular destination, just about enjoying one another’s company. So what of those women we see around Hoan Kiem Lake with freshly washed hair and clad in pyjamas? With a snout for a possible singles scene, I leapt on my trusty steed to try to get in on the action.

... classics never go out of style

To my bemused – if solitary – finding, this was another form of relaxation sans groping. There I met Lan, who just fluttered her eyelids when asked any questions. She did admit that in years gone by, her parents, and their parents before them, had been fans of di choi, albeit by bicycle. 

 

Down in Ho Chi Minh City, Kevin Minh set off into the thick of the southern dating scene, where he discovered the rules were truly universal.

 

Riding on the streets on a motorbike in Saigon is an experience in itself, he reported, but Sunday evening sees traffic jams of couples, motorbikes by the thousands revving amid the bustling city nightlife. Amid the pack, this confusion of open-air privacy on a motorbike allows a few shared caresses, moments of intimacy in the company of a thousand strangers. 

 

The warm body contact, blanketing dewy air, and intimate conversation, that’s what makes this experience so great, and it costs nothing, except to fill up your gas tank.

 

So there it is, no more excuses for staying home like a wallflower on a Saturday night. You don’t even need to know the place to be, as it is, quite literally, all around you.

 

http://english.vietnamnet.vn/vndiaries/2004/06/169412/

Story by Dan Kirk and Kevin Minh, photos by Kevin Minh.